My son Guy is 20 years old and he has two sisters aged 22 and 18. As parents we always wanted our kids to grow up to be happy, healthy and independent adults. However when Guy was 15 months old we were told he’d have a lifelong, profound learning disability and would never be capable of living an independent life. Those words resonated with me for many years but although the support Guy has needed over the years has been very different from his sisters it never stopped us wanting the same for him as we wanted for them.

Guy left home four years to go to a residential school in Buckinghamshire for his post 16 Education. This gave us three years to plan what we wanted his life to look like when he left. With support from the school we developed a person centred plan with Guy. This was to make sure all the decisions made about where he’d live, with whom and how he’d fill his days were based entirely on what people who know and love him felt he needed. Guy has no spoken language so couldn’t tell us what he wanted in the conventional way but we were keen to keep him at the centre of the whole process.

Just over a year ago Guy moved into a house with three friends, two of whom he’s known since he was three years old and he’s supported by a wonderful team of staff from Style Acre. Guy and his fellow housemates also took part in the interviewing process for their staff, as did all the families. It took a lot of planning and seemed a long drawn out process but the result has been well worth it and we had a huge amount of support from Style Acre to do this.

Guy now has the kind of life we’d hoped for him and lives just 20 minutes away from us. He’s a tenant in his own home and shares with people he’s chosen (in his own way) to share with and they all get on really well. His care is paid for through an individual budget, via a direct payment and Independent Living Fund funding, which I manage on his behalf. His home is fabulous, with a garden we are all jealous of! He has a busy and active life, enjoys spending time with his friends and going out socialising. He likes music, going to the cinema, eating out and the occasional holiday, amongst lots of other things like sailing and parties. He can’t tell me whether he’s happy or not, but he comes back to stay with us regularly and as soon as I mention its time to go back to his house he hands me his case and is out of the door like a shot. When we get back he’s eager to get out of the car and greets his housemates and staff like long lost friends, so I think we can safely say he’s happy where he is and enjoying his life.

It’s often said that families like mine find it “difficult to let go”. It’s hard to hand over the care of your loved one to anyone else and this requires a huge amount of trust but we continue to work closely with Style Acre and feel valued as part of the team who support our son. Consequently, Guy is still very much part of our lives, as we are his. So just like his sisters, we never really let go, we simply let him grow!